Satire & Humor Writing

McSweeney's Internet Tendency:

Every HOA Ordinance Violated in the Song "Our House" by Madness (April 2021)

The Hard Times:

Wet Shower Curtain Clinging to Woman’s Leg Most Intimacy She’s Experienced in Years (June 2021)

40-Year-Old Punk Expecting Too Much From New Shoe Inserts (May 2021)

Local Band Sets Up Merch Table Outside Mass Vaccination Site (April 2021)




Theoretical Outcomes Of Schrödinger’s Catastrophizing Anxiety Disorder (July 2021)

Dr. Colin Cochran Brainstorms Slogans For His Clinic’s Colonoscopy Ad (June 2021)


QUIZ: Is This A Quote From My 5-Year-Old Or An Old Timey Expression That Fell Out Of Style? (10th place in Slackjaw's Humor Writing Challenge, May 2021)

I’m Your Toddler’s Self-Portrait On The Fridge And I’m Begging You To End My Torturous Existence (April 2021)

The Belladonna:

An Incomplete List Of Things I Do That Are Too Loud According To The Worst Person In My Apartment Complex (June 2021)

Monologue Jokes for the Talk Show Host Who’s a Little Too Excited About National Donut Day (June 2021)

DOs and DON’Ts for Submitting to CeraVe Skincare’s Short Humor Site, CeraHeHeHe (May 2021)


Hey r/Relationships, Help Me Talk Sense Into My Egg-Obsessed Husband! (May 2021)


Daily Itinerary of an Avid Prankster on April Fool’s Day (April 2021)

If This Cartoon Lady Animal Doesn’t Have Human Breasts, How Will Men Know If We Wanna Fuck It? (March 2021)

People of Gotham, Have Some Respect for the Deceased Joker’s Loved Ones During This Trying Time (February 2021)



Your Mother's Dying, Charlie Brown! A Peanuts special on the five stages of good grief (July 2021)


Guy Who Says 'Keep The Change' After Paying For His $4.70 Coffee With A Fiver Just As Generous In Other Areas Of His Life (July 2021)


Karl Marx Rewrites The ‘I Love Lucy’ Chocolate Factory Scene (June 2021)

Points in Case:

Help! I'm the Ideas Guy at Work and I'm All Out of Ideas (June 2021)

The 17 Midnight Rides of Kyle Revere (April 2021)

A Message for My Husband, Who Waits Until I'm Almost Done Cleaning to Ask if I Want Any Help (January 2021)


2 Ho Ho Ho's:

Please Rise as the RMS Titanic Orchestra Performs The Star-Spangled Banner on the Last Night of America (July 2021)

Greener Pastures Magazine:

I’m the Skunk Who Sprayed Your Family Dog, and I’m Flying to Cancún to Escape This Dreadful Smell (February 2021)

Tales of a Mommy Blogger: My Toddler’s Lemonade Stand Is Valued at One Trillion Dollars (February 2021)


The Haven:

March 3rd is ‘National I Want You to Be Happy Day’ and I Won’t Be Celebrating, Brad from Xfinity (March 2021)

Romeo & Juliet in 2021: Star-Cross’d Employees at Pfizer & Moderna Begin a Secret Romance (February 2021)



DNAtured Journal:

Scientist Embarrassed To Admit He Thought RNA Stood For ‘Really Nice Ass’ This Whole Time (February 2021)


The Boston Accent:

Cute! This Connecticut Woman Has Opinions On Massachusetts Drivers (January 2021)

“Comedic Genius” Nancy Pelosi Endorses Joe Kennedy As A Bit (August 2020)

Comics & Illustrated Pieces



I Would Like To Purchase Your Finest Single-Word Shirt (May 2021)

Jane Austen's Wastebasket:


Cards I Wish I Could Give to New Parents (February 2021)

One Year in Quarantine, Through the Eyes of Your Therapist (February 2021)

The Great Gatsby, Without the Metaphor (January 2021)

How Shakespeare Wrote Hamlet... Probably (January 2021)

The Tell-Tale Heart, Without the Metaphor (January 2021)